Thursday, September 29, 2005

Natural woman

It is only when recounting what I did over the weekend to a friend, that I realize my life is a bit off-kilter.
Working backwards-- we went to a party on Sat. night at my girl Cindy's. Cindy is this meek woman who teaches Tassy piano and also works with me on the newsletter for TN Writers Alliance. The woman wears skirts, bakes brownies and plays the tamborine to hymns. So when I tell you she has the best parties around, you might tend to think I am in my dellusional phase again. But no doubt, they are great. The people are always artsy hang-on-the-perimeter-of-society people and the guitars and keyboard get dragged into the back yard where the wine is flowing and people are laughing. Except for one tiny disagreement over the benefits of soy, it was an immaculate night. I carried on the interpretive dancing that I learned in Bennington under the tutelage of Andrea. "Daniel" by Elton John was a hit, what with all those twinkling stars and tears in the eye.
Prior to that though, we weren't going to go. We didn't have a babysitter. My parents only live here 6 months of the year and it is the six months that no one invites us to anything.
So I called Cindy to decline. Within a few hours she called back telling me she had procured a babysitter for me. A sweet young girl named L.
This girl has a great family, experience with little sisters and plays soccor for her high school soccer team. And she only has one arm. Frankly, she proves that we only really need one arm in life and therefore saps the "intelligent" out of the intelligent design debate.
So when I talk to the midgets in the morning, I ask them what they did. Oh, they had great fun and played games. Oh, what games? Twister. Twister? So then I wonder if my oldest has a bit of a competitive streak. Of all the Candy Land and Strawberry Shortcake games, the MouseTrap and Hungry Hungry Hippos, which game is going to make the babysitter lose when the little spinny wheel lands on "Right hand on red?"
To start the weekend, my family and I enjoyed a moving ceremony at the Nashville courthouse where my husband became "naturalized." He is now a citizen of America, as well as Australia.
We took Tassy out of school so we all could go. It was a solemn affair and neither Colin nor I thought that it would affect us as much as it did. The speech written by the judge was very inspiring, and as I watched each person, one by one, stand and say their name and what country they were leaving to come here, I got a little teary. Granted, Australia is not a horrible place where people shack up in freight containers to escape from. But when an old Iraqi man can barely stand to say his name and a young Chinese girl next to him helps him to his feet, it is really moving.
Afterward, we went out to celebrate. So there we were, an Australian-American sitting with his half Cuban wife (whose father still celebrates the day he naturlaized fifty plus years ago) with one stark white-haired girl and other curly-top girl, eating knishes and blintzes in a jewish deli in downtown Music City restaurant called Noshville. So natural.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Hedging bets

So I start this blog. One measly entry and then here comes my friend Bree, going ape on me and telling me that now SHE has to have a blog. Her first entry, an ode to me. So sweet.
But since then she has actually been adding to hers, while I sort of forgot I had even done one. And then there was this whole email stream between the Bennington Five (like Ben Folds five without the adverbs) about needing a focus to one's blog. I hadn't really thought of that. Surpsire, surprise. I got a blog because we don't have a puppy. I just wanted someone to silenty listen to me.
Then some other writing friends were over and asked, "why are you doing a blog?" Yet another question I hadn't thought of. Frankly, I thought that it was called a blog because it sounds like "blah, blah, blah." I am crossing my fingers that this is true.
Then I realized I do have a reason to start a blog. A noble one at that. Seems I have attracted the wrong type of people with my website. Unbeknownst to some out there, people can actually see, not only who comes to their website, but why. (this little tidbit put my friend P. into a tailspin. Guess the stalkfest is over, huh?)
I've had a few who are actually looking for me, a few looking for stuff on Cuba or a local event. But I have had three searching the web for "wetback jokes" and ending up on my doorstep. Yes. It is not like they are looking for something general like "office jokes" or "dirty jokes". They have zoned in on their target. And tomorrow around the watercooler they are going to let go a zinger. Manuel is going to laugh his head off!
I have "wetback jokes" written in my bio. I heard a lot of them growing up because no one thought that the redhead girl was Cuban. That one about bloated bodies washing up on shore cracks me up every time.
I'm vain as the next guy. I want people to come to my website. So here is a new slew of keywords that will bring them in like flies:

Jessica Alba
Jessica Simpson
Marge Simpson
The Zone diet
sex
rhinoplasty
mojito recipe
Discount Disney Tickets
Kanye West
Bush hates Latinos

So, now I'll sit back and watch the bloated web surfers wash up at my website. Joke's on them.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Making it safer out there


Happy Religious Freedom Week!

Monday, September 19, 2005

In the beginning...

I'm really not much for small talk. I don't journal (see how we made a verb out of it) or write three pages a morning (a fascist technique forced on writers to make them feel guilty about yet another failure). So I decided I will use this space to do all the above. I think this is what they refer to as "dumbing down."
I assume you will find nothing here useful. I almost feel bad for using up the cyberspace, but since I understand that it is unlimited, I'm going to get my piece of the pie.
Unfortunately, if you know me, there will be plenty of sentences dedicated to complaining or whining about something. At times it will be significant--that Katrina stuff is messed up. Sometimes it will be trivial--I don't understand the attraction of Eva Longoria. Sometimes it may be a mixture, a fantasy, where I combine it all and make Eva Longoria stuck in Katrina, mud, toxic waste and all, and then try to see if she remains pert.
Half my life is spent in the world of children, girl children. The other half is in books or writing. This leaves little room (13%?) for reality or interesting conversation. However, if you are surfing the web and realize that you are in the mood for some good ol' bellyaching, please drop by and give this a read. I'll be here, putting off real life for a while longer.