I am one who is interested in causes. I can put in the right energy-saving light bulb; I can turn off the water when I brush my pearly whites, etc. But the thing about me and causes is that I am nothing or all the way.
I remember when I was an argumentative teenager my mother, during one of our thrashings, asked me if I would rather have peace or be right. "Be right,” I said--like it was a no-brainer. Justice has always outweighed peace to me in that I think Justice leads to peace. At least in my demented mind.
So I've been interested in this whole Co2 thing. What are these people talking about (no, I didn’t see Al's film)? I heard a good explanation on NPR. Seems we are always putting out carbon--when we drive a car, turn on a light and chew our food. This got me to thinking of ways that we can all cut down on our carbon emissions. But it has to be a new way, not just telling people to drive smaller cars or use less toilet tissue. It has to be something that will benefit more than the earth, but humankind as well.
So I have come up with this equation. T-r2=silence.
If chewing a carrot gives off carbon that binds with oxygen and then heats up our planet, well then talking also releases carbon. So I conclude that there should be a ban on repeating things.
I think half the things I hear everyday are things I have heard before whether it is my kid calling my name fifty times or the news repeating that we are in a war in
1) There is the incidental repeating such as "paper or plastic." We know it is coming, maybe the bagger can just give a little eye contact, where then the customer points to the kind of bag he/she wants.
2) Greetings. When we pass people we know, instead of saying "how are you," we will have to come up with new things to learn about each other such as,"when does you period start?"
3) Blah, blah conversations. There will be no more talk of diets, exercise, cholesterol, or anything we know we need to work on.
Only the first person you see on your birthday is allowed to wish you “Happy Birthday,” the others have to just nod.
4) Foreigners. People must stop asking Colin about The Crocodile Hunter, Crocodile Dundee, kangaroos and if “Fosters is really Australian for beer.” The poor guy is exhausted from doing his polite laugh and then having to explain it all.
It’s going to be a hard road for all of us. How am I going to resist when I meet someone who says their last name is Buttafuco not to ask the question that is on the tip of my tongue? But lord knows that person has been asked to the point that ice caps are melting in the arctic.
The burden weighs on me because I repeat stories to people, forgetting that I have already told them. I watch their eyes glaze over and let me politely go on. It could be my fault that whales are washing up on the
In sixth grade I won an essay contest about baby harp seals. They were really into clubbing them at the time and I had my award winning letter sent to Ronald Reagan. I know it was my catchy S.O.S. that made the cut (Save our seals). Reagan wrote my school back, sending a pic of himself happy as can be. They put it on our stucco wall, unframed, letting the edges curl. But everyday I looked up at it and thought he was smiling at me and remembering the S.O.S. girl, working in his office late to stop the manufacturing of these seal- battering clubs (always pictured them like what cavemen would use).
My goal is to have a picture of Bush on my office wall—that crooked smile looking down on me while I do my work. He will have written me a thank you note and will think of me every day as the woman who stopped global warming and got every one to shut up.